Ozzie got me thinking.....

[gerber daisy]

In another post Ozzie commented on the fact that perhaps a lady was feeling guilt and condimnation. Ozzie, you seem like such a gracious person so this got me to thinking of Christians being gracious and not imposing condimnation. The bible states there is no condimnation for those in Christ Jesus. So why as a general rule do Christians hold people under so much condimnation? Why is it that God forgives and moves on but we hold people under judgement and remind them of their sins.
An example is something I am doing to my husband....yes he had an online affair, he has talked with our pastor, he has confessed his sins to me and God, asking forgiveness, he is going through a marriage dvd series and is trying daily to reassure me that our marriage is front and center and yet....I daily hold over him what he did. I am holding him under condimnation for it all, yet God has let it all go.
Again, people condemed me when I got divorced years ago. Divorce from a man who cheated and beat me. Yet people where jury and judge, condeming me for not sticking with it!
So why, why is it that this is the way Christians, myself included, can be? The world lets things go and states that "you are only human", rarely do I see them condem and be a self appointed judge. Does this make sense?

[PADIVAN]

I can only speak for myself really...yet I think that this might be a biblical principle found in II Peter 1:5-9...I think often we forget that we are all in the same boat--helpless sinners in need of a Savior. We think that some sins aren't bad enough to condemn us to hell. For example, I grew up in a christian home...I don't remember a time that I really rebelled...but I did lie to my parents....to be honest, I lived in pride for several years, believing that I had earned my right to salvation because I had never done anything really bad. One day, quite a few years back now, the LORD convicted me heavily of my pride and really gave me a glimpse of my depravity...making me realize it wasn't really my sins of this life that condemned me to hell--yet it was what I was born with--a sin nature...which put me in the same boat as a child molester or whatever terrible sinner! See, I was dealing with forgiving my grandfather and uncles for sexually imposing themselves upon me as a child. When I realized that I was in the same sinful state as them it really humbled me. From there the LORD filled my heart with HIS love because of the growing knowledge of just what He had done for me...when I began to see just how He loved me and forgave me my heart began to soften and I was able to forgive my grandfather. Then on I began to witness to my grandpa and faithfully pray for his salvation...just two years ago I had the grand privilege of seeing Him come to Christ.
Anyway, I think we tend to be condemning of others when we have not yet recognized how much Christ has forgiven us. It of course is about pride. We all struggle with it. I do think it is important to not lump every believer that tells us that we are in sin into the category of being judgmental. It's a fine line we walk when we begin to accuse others of being judgmental. There are times that it is obvious that we are being judged...but in most cases if I say that someone is judging me because they are pointing out my sin then I could fall into the sin of judging their heart motives...slippery slope here and I have to just try to listen to the truth no matter how it is delivered or who the person is...I just need to be humble and listen for the ounce of truth that might be there. and not worry about whether that person is indeed judging me wrongfully.

[ozzie]

Well I'm glad I got you thinking Gerber. What a revelation you've had - that's a big thing for you to come to see. Can I share how I explain it.

I think before we are born again, we haven't truly known the conviction of our sin, the depth of our depraved & lost state, hence our need of a Saviour. It's not until we can see ourselves under the light of His purity, His holiness, then can we see our filthy rags, suddenly our 'goodness' seems empty, our 'achievements' seem pointless. After we are saved we really do begin to see sin in it's ugliness.

Problem is, we go around all day looking at other people, the world, our loved ones. We don't walk around with a mirror on the inside. We don't video tape ourselves each day and play it back to examine ourselves. So therefore with both of those things in mind - our consciousness of sin & our focus on others, it's pretty easy to see why we battle with judging others so quickly and easily.

But as we grow in our knowledge & understanding in His word, we read verses that alert us of our own state.... such as
'Romans 2
1. Therefore you have no excuse or defense or justification, O man, whoever you are who judges and condemns another. For in posing as judge and passing sentence on another, you condemn yourself, because you who judge are HABITUALLY PRACTICING THE VERY SAME THINGS [that you censure and denounce].

We have understand the truth of this.....
25And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and [g]let it drop (leave it, let it go), in order that your Father Who is in heaven may also forgive you your [own] failings and shortcomings and let them drop.
:26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your failings and shortcomings.

Wow, just these few verses seem hard to hear, but the Word of God truly is living and active, it cuts often, but He heals also.
What a journey the one of faith in Jesus Christ is, never dull that's for sure. Just when you think you've understood things, there's more to learn.

[gerber daisy]

Thanks for the input ladies. Lots to think about.

[windward]

Dear Gerber,

Two quick thoughts about this, since I'm at work:

You know how when somebody steps on your toe and apologizes and you say, "That's okay"? Well, in today's world, sometimes when people ask for forgiveness, it's hard not to associate saying "I forgive you" with "That's okay," especially when what was done to you is very much NOT okay. It seems like they're getting off scott free while you're still wrestling with the pain. It takes a few words to extend forgiveness, but it takes a lot longer to heal. There's not presto-chango saying that the person who hurt you can say to make you feel better.

Sometiems I think Christians focus more on sins because we're trying not to sin - if you know what I mean. As you grow further along your Christian walk, you become more sensitized to things that are of the world and not of the Holy Spirit and trying not to swear, gossip, etc. So in the back of our minds we're always conscious of it, and then when we see or have someone really "mess up," it's easier to focus on them than on us for a while. It is pride, as Padi said.
And I think it is pride that makes us want to "hold a grudge" a little longer over someone who has hurt us because, deep down, we are thinking an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. This person needs to pay in some form for hurting us.

It's really hard to forgive. Keep on praying every day for the Lord to help you re-forgive your husband, and the hurt will go away faster.

[gerber daisy]

So much wisdom with you ladies. Thanks for the support Winward in this time of craziness....thanks to you all.