Hi, I'm Susy

[ohiogirlcm]

Oh, I forgot to update you on my health. Believe it or not, I am still sick, but doing better! I was tested about a week ago for the Swine Flu, but it came back negative. I had temps fluctuating between 99 and 103 for 4 days. I have a persistent cough, and extreme fatigue. The Lord is good to me, and has given me another day with breath in my lungs. To live is Christ, and to die is gain! :)

[Susy]

Hello there Charity =)

Chapter III? I've lost count :) First off, thank you so much for your spiritual support and your words of encouragement. Loved the Scriptures!

Remember the meeting I told you we were going to have today? It didn't happen, he called an hour before the meeting to cancel. I'm sorry for venting with you, but it really is cathartic to be able to talk to you.

Charity? I need you to help me. I honestly don't know what to say to Christian. I want to talk to him, but I simply don't know what to say. God is more important to me than my anger and all the reasons I have to be angry.

I want to talk to him, but I don't want to be a hypocrite. I can forgive him as a friend, but I don't want him as part of the school. That probably sounds like an oxymoron, but that's how I feel. I've been praying about it. I know and understand that I need to talk to him, but it's the next step where my problem lies .

Thank you for your prayers. I need them.

If you'd like, of course you don't have to, and if you decide not to use it I'll respect that. I want to give you my email address: susyve@gmail.com.Just know that you don't have to give me yours,k.

May God bless you and prosper you in all you do. I speak blessings for you family and great wisdom, knowledge and understanding in all things for your husband so that he delivers just the message the Lord wants him to.

xxx
Susy

[ohiogirlcm]

Good morning Susy!

I am glad to be supportive of you through this difficult time that you are going through. The Lord has sent so many people to support me just when I needed it over the years. :) Please don't apologize for sharing your heart with me. That's real, and we were not meant to go this world alone.

From everything you have told me, I think you need to have a meeting soon with Christian. Even if you don't focus on the negative feelings that his actions are causing you, some of the things he has done are not right for a business/working relationship, and they need addressed. Since he may not keep a scheduled appointment, especially if he feels that you are going to discuss the areas where he is avoiding his responsibilities, you may need to take advantage of an unplanned meeting next time you get to see him and be prepared to discuss these things. I think I would lay out some clear ground rules as to your expectations of the workload and deadlines for him. If he feels you and Claudia will pick up his slack, he may continue to avoid doing things that he knows will get done without his involvement. Also, he may be wanting out of this agreement, and through talking with him, you will hopefully get a better idea on where he stands on the project. I do think it's important for him to hear the stress that his lack of being committed to the project is causing you. He may not care, but he needs to be aware of the consequences of his actions. I think the most important thing is that you be honest with him, and loving and respectful in your delivery of your feelings and concerns with him. Even though he has not treated you right, you should try your best to do what is right. It's never easy to confront someone, especially a close friend, on areas where they are failing, but it's biblical and can help that person to grow into the person God has them to be. Remember, depending where they are at spiritually, they may not receive what you have to say in a positive light. Nobody likes to be confronted on areas they have weaknesses, especially if they have a blindspot and don't see them or refuse to acknowledge them. Be prepared as there are always two sides to every story, and he could bring up some areas that he is frustrated with as well.

One way you can address the personal negative feelings that you are having towards him is to write a letter. I have done this and read it to the person before so that I can explain/discuss anything they may not understand. Sometimes I can express myself better through words on a page. It's important to not use a letter, or speaking for that matter, as a venting post where you take your wrath out on Christian. Stick to the matter at hand, which are those things he has done to hurt you, and how they made you feel. I think it's always good to start off with words of encouragement if there is anything positive that he has done in this whole process. If not, you could focus on how you valued the friendship before entering this business partnership and you would like to continue the friendship if possible. I would definately pray before I even began writing the letter for the Lord's guidance as to what to say and how to say it. If you decide to just verbally tell him how you feel, writing a letter for your own benefit beforehand could help get your thoughts, ideas, and feelings organized. Telling your feelings to him is not a sin as long as you don't do it in anger, bitterness, or as a way to hurt him. Getting this off of your chest, letting him know how you feel and what you have been going through may be a way for you to deal with your anger and bitterness towards him. Remember that he may not receive what you have to say well, but as long as you do what is right in the eyes of the Lord, it's not sin.

Forgiving him is good. Not wanting him to be a part of the school doesn't mean you don't forgive him. I have friends that I dearly love that I wouldn't think of going into a business partnership with. I don't feel we would have a productive partnership because of their lack of work ethic, responsibility, iniative, etc. Does it mean that I am better? No, it just means I know what expectations I have, it would frustrate me to do business with them, but my love for them as a person doesn't change. I think separating the two things (1. forgiving him for the hurtful things he has done to you as a friend, and 2.the business partnership) is good. If the business partnership ends it doesn't mean that the friendship has to be over. Sometimes friendships do end over things like this, but it doesn't have to if you both choose to rise above this problem. Remember though, you can't control what he does or doesn't do. He is responsible for his actions. You can only control how you respond to him.


I will gladly accept your email address. Mine is vballcc777@hotmail.com. Just so you know, I am not one of those people that check my email every day, but I do try to check it at least every couple of weeks. I am glad to be getting to know you Susy! I truly hope the Lord gives you a peaceful and quick resolve to this problem, as I know it is weighing heavy on your heart. Thank you for your prayers also! I truly appreciate them. Have a wonderful weekend!

Love always in Christ, Charity