Need advice

[identityinGod]

Hi. My husband is in a masters program to receive a Masters in Divinity in Ministry and he is deeply involved in ministry at our church, but he just doesn't get paid. Our current church is in bad shape and is quite spiritually stale. People have been there all their lives and many multi-generational families attend there. In general, the people just don't want to change and grow spiritually speaking. They like things the way they've always done it. My husband has held leadership meetings with the elders, the minister, and several other people to help the church grow and change for the good. I have tried on numerous occasions to talk about spiritual things with different women. I desire to be able to talk about spiritual things with someone and no one at this church seems to want to do that. I truly feel like an island there. I desire a relationship where I can talk about what I am learning about God, what he is teaching me, pray together, ask about what they are learning from God, etc. People are generally turned off though.

I started a walking ministry for women and we met and walked almost every weekend. Part of the reason for the ministry was to pray together and encourage one another. After having a walking ministry a few months I asked a few women if they wanted to go on a prayer walk with me. They thought it was the weirdest thing and it made them uncomfortable. I was shocked.

On numerous occasions over the past 5 years at this church I have complained to my husband about the lack of spirituality of the women. I really struggle to even want to go to church. I despise going and I don't even enjoy our small group because it has a similar feel. He tells me I need to help the women, but I don't feel like I can alone carry the torch. I don't feel strong enough. I feel drained by this church. I feel so alone. I wanted to try going to other churches, but it seems strange to do that since my husband is so plugged in at this church. It's like the minister's wife goes to church somewhere else. Weird, huh?

My questions to all of you out there is:
Am I being too judgmental?
Am I expecting too much?
Does this seem like a healthy church?
What should I do?

Thank you so much,
Struggling

[gerber daisy]

Well, I can only speak from my point of view...which may be different from other ladies.....
I think a church that does not want to continue to grow has a very real problem. When people stop growing, they start dying....that works both physically and spiritually.

As to judging? Well, that is a tough thing. Are you gently pointing out the lack of growth or out right saying these people are wrong? Judging, man, that is a hard thing to find the line with and I personally have to question myself when I say things about our church. I think if you are wondering if you are judging....well maybe you need to look inward as only you really know what you are doing on this one.

I do not think your desire to grow and to see others grow is expecting too much at all. I think it is a wonderful thing that you are trying to urge these ladies along but I do not think you can do it alone. As with anyone involved in ministry, you too need to be able to grow and well.....um, don't anyone get mad at me for this..... yes as a leaders wife you need to lead by example but it is high time that the church supports those in ministry and sees to their needs as well. You cannot carry a burden like this alone and people need to support you. If a church does not support ministries, the ministries die and it is awful hard on the leadership..in this case with the prayer walks, you. You need to be uplifted to help move these ladies forward. This is why people in ministry burn out....working so hard for the people and the people just sitting back and doing nothing! Remember, you cannot get these ladies to get up and catch a little fire in their hearts for God and you too need to be fed and maybe you need to look into ladies groups with other churches to help keep your heart for God burning.

Oh I may have stepped in something this time by saying all this but I do hope it helps a little.

[Gentletouch]

Dear Identity in GOD, welcome to the Discussion Board from Montreal, Quebec, Canada.

I felt that what you have is a denomination. A relationship with GOD never goes stale. How could it? Remember that song , "I kept falling in JESUS again and again?" You know, that is my daily experience. Early in the morning when I open my eyes, I'm grateful for another day that HE has given me and I pray that HE will make me worthy of that another day of opportunity to live for HIM. So my prayer is that HE will rule and reign in my life and I remember all the ladies here and their families, I remember our Board Discussion Administrators, I remember many Residents where I live who need GOD's touch in their lives, I remember all my household members that I'm asking GOD to be my inheritance, I remember the Quebec Nurses Christian Fellowship that I revived and is praying for the new governing committee, I remember the needs of every member in my church, I have no time to see the failure somewhere but so many needs everywhere to pray for. On these areas mentioned, my prayer is that GOD will show HIS glory by the manifestation of HIS power and HIS love.

May I suggest to you to visit the thread on "Prayer for Revival" and "How to get out of Jail" then please continue to update us with what's going on in your spiritual and church life. I will surely pray for your husband, bless his heart, and the needs in your Church. When GOD brought me to an Evangelical Fellowship, that was 1984, HE led me to a church where I had been worshiping eversince and enjoy the Fellowship there. But I felt that because what I have is a relationship w/ GOD, I can worship anywhere where JESUS is the focus of worship and the Bible is the basis and foundation of belief. I felt that you need a prayer support team on what you should be studying on before you can introduce anything like prayerwalk. There are some denominations that are way ahead on these things and may I asked if your denomination have had the Basic Christian Faith Foundation study like the Alpha Course? It's going on all over the world and quite enjoyable to have. You can mention that to your husband too and that will break the staleness of the Church and Christian faith will become alive! It was started by Dr. Nicky Gumbel and you can google it to start looking at it. .... www.alphacourse.Intl

We hope to hear more from you Identityin GOD. I felt that GOD brought you here for a reason and I could only say to you that our godly ladies here truly care and would love to interact with you on any spiritual and personal matters wherein you let us in.

GOD bless you sister. Lots of love to you.

Gentletouch

[Bondservant]

I just left a church that would be considered big (in my town anyway). They outreach to the homeless, contribute to the community, the mayor goes there and the doctors and lawyers. On the surface they seem to be growing. The pulpit preaches a lot about the love of God, but there are no sermons on how to live in Christ. We finally left because I found out the denomination was Pro-Choice. I couldn't continue to give my time and money to this place. All along I have felt "thirsty and hungry". The praise team was great, the music was great, but I left feeling like I needed to go to church. I kept telling myself that I was teaching Sunday school class and I was needed.

We have been attending another church in the community now for the last 3 weeks. The church is small by community standards, somewhat new. It started out in a motel room because that was how small they were. The preacher speaks love balanced with truth, and he does it boldly.

The bottom line? Pray and wait patiently. Isaiah 30:18 tells us the Lord longs to be gracious to us and rises to show us compassion. The last sentence of that verse says "Blessed are those who wait on Him".

I say this because I found my prayer journal from a year ago. I am not good at journaling and lost track of this particular journal. Exactly one year ago I was praying over my job (overworked and stressed, not sure I was at the right place), I was praying for healing of my husbands ex-wife who suffers from MS, I was praying for a way for God to use me in the Pro-Life movement, I was praying for a way to form a Moms-In-Touch prayer group and I was praying for wisdom regarding the church I mentioned above (the one I just left). God answered every one of those prayers with a YES!! Some not in the way I expected, but He answered.

Pray and seek His voice, wait patiently on the Lord. He may want you to move, but not now. He may want you to stay because there will be an appointed time for you. I had started to feed myself with radio sermons and just getting into the Word of God on a consistant and regular basis. If you haven't done that because of the Spiritual dryness, get back into the Word. I have been there, where I didn't really want to read my Bible because I felt so dead inside. Seek and you shall find, God promises us that. And you can bank on the fact that He is a faithful and trustworthy God who will deliver.

I hope this helps somewhat. Welcome to the board, I hope to see more of you around.

In His Grip,
Melissa

[identityinGod]

Thank you ladies for your advice and kind words. I haven't had a chance to implement any resolutions other than to simply pray. I pray blessings for each of you for caring enough to share your thoughts with me.